I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
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It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
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He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Congratulations! We have a period
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