Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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