he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I need to stop coming to work sober
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize