And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
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I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
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And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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