If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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