This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
sex in a hospital.. check
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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