Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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