I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
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rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
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Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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