You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
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I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
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We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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