too bad you live with your parents still
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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