do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It all started with a game of naked twister.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize