I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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