why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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