I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize