That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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