just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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