Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
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She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
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He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize