It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
don't judge my taste in strippers
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
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