your parents love me but you hate me
that's an acceptable place to lick
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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