So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's blow job season.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize