Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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