So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize