put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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