dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
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he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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