we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize