I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize