How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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