So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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