Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm gonna fight the coyote
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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