I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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