he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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