since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize