I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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