You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize