she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
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i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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