i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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