I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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