I want to have your abortion
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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