i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize