I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
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Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
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And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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