Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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