So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize