You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize