Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize