Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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