i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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