One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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