she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
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My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
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So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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