his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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