how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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