apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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