i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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