margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
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Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
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If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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